Thursday, 14 February 2013

An endless affair

It begins when I least expect it. I’m hanging out the washing, leafing through a magazine, standing in the queue at the Post Office or making a cup of tea when suddenly, there you are. And you’re amazing. You’re beautiful, perfect, the one I’ve been searching for all these years.

I want to shout out Yes! Yes! Yes! and tell the whole world about you. I want to introduce you to my friends, invite you to dinner with my family, parade you through town, but I’m afraid that if I show too much eagerness, too soon, I might scare you away. My heart is pounding and I’m floating several inches above the ground but I keep the delicious secret to myself. You are the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning, I can’t concentrate on anything else all day and, if I’m lucky, you’ll be haunting my dreams.

Slowly, I approach you. I need to find out everything about you. I try to make it sound like a casual conversation but I can’t help asking: What if? How do you feel? What happened in your past? Every answer delights me and draws me closer. Then comes that magical moment when we hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes. I allow my own feelings and experiences to mingle with yours, and I know that together we can create something remarkable.

We settle into the comfortable routine of dating. We meet whenever we can, enjoy each other’s company and make plans for the future. I’m still besotted with you, but now my feet are firmly on the ground. I know exactly where I want to take you. It doesn’t occur to me that you might have other plans.

I can’t pinpoint the moment it starts to go wrong. One day, I look at you and see that you’re not quite as wonderful as I once thought. I still like you, still care about you, but now I have to admit that you’re not really so special. You’re not much different from all the others. In fact, you’re quite ordinary.

I don’t give up easily. I smile and carry on for a while, hoping to find some way of re-igniting the spark. Perhaps if I can persuade you to change …. Anything’s worth trying, isn’t it?

We come to the end of our journey together. I can’t pretend any longer. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ I give you one last hug, promise to remain friends, and set you free with my best wishes. I really do hope someone else will find you; someone who’ll recognise that unique quality that I saw in you, someone who will be able to overlook your flaws and love you just as you are.

So here I am, on my own again and deciding it’s time to change. This is the end, I tell myself. I’m going to stop wasting all my time and energy on pursuing an impossible quest. From now on, I’ll live a sensible, uncomplicated life.

And, a few days later, I’m hanging out the washing or leafing through a magazine when, suddenly, I feel a presence … Oh, yes! This is most definitely going to be THE ONE!

 Happy Valentine’s Day!

Are you in love with writing? Are you still enjoying the honeymoon period? Or contemplating divorce?


jhewman said...

Still in love, but I sometimes wonder why!

penandpaints said...

Hehe, Yes, still pursuing the impossible quest!